I started the day in the ocean. Fully submerged, a baptism of a new week, an appreciation for the nearby beach that I consider to be my front yard, and a cold, salty (in the best way) full-body refreshing reminder that I feel very lucky to live where I do and how I do, that this could be every day and any day for me.
When I plunged underwater the first time I had the gleeful feeling of being a teenager again, down at Belmar, the Jersey Shore, with high school friends, bobbing in the waves, diving directly into the biggest of them, and on those very-big-wave days, letting them throw us where they wanted to, wherever they would, when the next one came too soon. We always came up laughing, swimsuits twisted, always better, happier and more hopped up on life for having taken the ride.
The second time I went under I remembered my dad laughing, and telling me how, when I was younger and we were at the beach (I’d probably just learned how to swim), I told him I was going to teach him how to swim in the ocean. He grew up in Acapulco, Mexico, and spent more days than not in the ocean. It was, of course, actually him who taught me to swim in the ocean, and he always, always told me: “Never turn your back on the waves.” Face them, see them, be with them. Dive into them or ride them, but never turn your back on the waves.
The past week, week+, has felt more emotionally intense for me. Because of things that unexpectedly arose, as (expectedly) so often happens, and because it’s just sometimes like that, full of feeling. It was a reminder, an opportunity, to me to just be with it. To not try to change it, to not force into a direction or a feeling or a time constraint, but to surrender it to fully feel it and let it go, to let it wash over me. It was a reminder of how so much comes in waves, even when part of the same experience. I’m proud of myself for facing it, for facing the waves, and so appreciative for close relations like friends who, with heart-centered kindness, openness and invitation, were there, encouraged me to share, went deep with me and, also, let me be.
For my dad, who showed me how to be with the waves and play through life at all ages, and always with joy